


Who She Was

by Lady_of_Mischief



Series: The Jedi Ways She never Got [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-05-07 07:45:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14666543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_of_Mischief/pseuds/Lady_of_Mischief
Summary: She was abandoned, lost on the planet Voss for what would seem forever. Until one day she vanishes into the Nightmare Lands. She spends fifty years there, training, learning the ways of the force, having games played on her mind. She is the only one known to have survived the Nightmare Lands. As time presses on, her past soon becomes unclear, and so she sets forth on uncovering who she is.But what she finds is far greater than who she is.And her relation to a mysterious someone will define who she was, and what she'll become.





	1. Chapter 1

It was said that a Sith Lord that was extremely wise and extremely powerful, had found a way to manipulate the midi-chlorians. To create life from them.

The Sith Lord taught his apprentice everything he knew. Everything he knew about the midi-chlorians and the dark side. The secrets they held, the potential key to everlasting life, and the way to bring those back to life from the brink of death.

His apprentice crest into his room while he was sleeping and on no particular night of no particular year, the Sith Lord was killed.

His apprentice thought he knew everything, though his master had taught him everything he knew, and he was right. He had taught him everything.

But what the apprentice failed to realize was that his master had kept a secret. One very dark and very well kept secret.

Through the force, he had created life, his own ward, through a woman whom he had met once.  
His own child. To be his predecessor.

Yet, he had not entrusted his plan or his secret with anyone. It stayed between the mother and himself.

The apprentice was to become the next Sith Lord. Lord Sidious.

Lord Sidious would get his own apprentice, and would never learn of his master's child.

The child would be lost in the galaxy, lost somewhere along the outer rim, and she would never surface.

Or so it seemed.


	2. Chapter One: The Beginining of an End

       

On the outer rim of the galaxy sat a planet named Voss. And on that planet was The Nightmare Lands. A place where even the bravest warriors didn't dare tread.

But she wasn't a warrior, or a fighter, or a medic, or instructor. She wasn't anything really. Just someone lost in time, on a planet she grew up on, with no particular person to raise her.

She learned to fend for herself, to scavenge for food, to take every penny she earned or begged for, and put it to what she needed. To work the bartering system, to have a silver tongue and a fast mind.

She had street smarts, yes, but book smarts? Well, that's something she lacked and lacked severely.

And this decision of hers was a lapse of judgment.

The Nightmare Lands was something of a legend. Something that even the monsters under your bed dreaded. Something that even a Sith Lord would have trouble stomaching and entering, and yet she didn't think twice.

She felt the pull from miles away, that sort of energy that ate at your soul and left you begging for more. That alive feeling that you wish you could feel the entire time you are alive.

It was like a buzzing in the back of her mind, and as she started down the path, it got stronger with every step. The draw of power, real, true, unyielding power. It drew her closer and closer until she had reached the edge of the Nightmare Lands.

"Come on 'Mara," Basil calls out to her companion. "It's not safe to be this close to the forest."

The forest that Basil was speaking of was the beginning of the Nightmare Lands. A place where those who dared to tread wound up dead or insane and left to wander the forest. There were trees, crooked and hooked, black and barren, and there were birds and animals all kinds of misshapen and deformed. Yet, this did not bother Basil's complain one bit. in fact, she wanted to discover more and enter it. Curiosity peaked her interest, and soon she would either enter the forest or walk away.

But why would she turn away from something that made her feel alive and powerful?

She wouldn't.

“Come now Bas, it's just a forest, what harm can come from it?” Basil rolls her eyes at her companion, the absurdity of her was beyond Basil. Why she would venture into a forest known for death or driving people insane was something Basil would never know the answer to, and in all honesty, she didn't want the answer.

“What are you freaking out about, it's just a forest?”

“Amaranthine, it's the beginning of the Nightmare Lands, if it doesn't kill you, it'll drive you insane.” The panic is clear and evident in her eyes but she's trying to remain calm.

Amaranthine can sense her panic, her anxiety, her fear, and she knows Basil wants to leave, her flight response is kicking in, begging her to run, and she knows Basil will flee. She has to tell her to go and she will.

“Basil, if you don't want to follow me then leave, but I fully intend to enter.” Basil sighs, knowing full well that this was the end of the conversation. Her ultimatum, so to speak.

Basil steps towards Amaranthine and holds out her hand.

“Then, perhaps one day I shall see you again.” Amaranthine grabs Basil's forearm and holds onto it.

“Blessed be, dear friend, and I wish you enough.” Amaranthine gives Basil a grin.

“And I the same. Stay safe, and may your journey be rewarding, but may it bring you home and cause you to realize where your real family lies.” Amaranthine nods and they release.

Basil secures her gear and heads the opposite direction of Amaranthine and the Nightmare Lands.

Two friends part ways, and while one turns from danger, the other lets her curiosity betray her.

To say that Amaranthine would be up a creek without a paddle be an understatement. It would be more accurate to say she was up a creek, without a canoe or paddle, and forced to swim in nothing but a piece of scrap cloth for a bathing suit while being chased by hungry flesh-eating fish in negative fifty-degree water. Ultimately, she was as unprepared as unprepared can be.

But that did not stop her if anything it gave her even more of a reason to go in. The thrill of the adventure, or perhaps the thrill of a near-death experience was more like it.

She straightened her back, adjusted the straps on her pack, and she holds her sword tighter than before; and with a sigh, she steps across into the Nightmare Lands.

There was a permanent shadow marking the lands, and where the shadow started so did the rust-colored grass, and a burnt orange sky. A sign of corruption.

And the deeper in you went, the worse it got. The worse it would drive you mad. And if it didn't drive you mad, it'd kill you.

Yet, for some unknown reason she still ventured in, still wagered her life against death itself.

The transition between the two lands was a feeling of one being cold and empty. Much like an empty refrigerator. Or a frozen dessert with no land. It was simply cold and barren, and empty.

One does not often associate this type of feeling with happiness or joy, most associate it with sadness, grief, or even death.

Deep in the depths of her mind, she did a find a way to enjoy it, however, twisted that was.

She ventured the somewhat barren lands a little further, and she turned to look back at where she had entered from, all she could see was more of the nightmarish lands no more green vegetation, the trees that once stood tall and lively, were gone and in its place, a desert that stretched for miles.

All around her was just the beginning of the nightmare lands, and from these lands, she would learn much. And learn some things she wouldn't want to know. 

 


	3. Chapter Two: A Revelation

In the deep core of the universe was an imperial fleet floating above Coruscant, ready and waiting for their next order from their Lord.

It had been days since they last heard from the Emporer and for some that was a good sign, but for others, it was also concerning. And then there was Lord Vader, who knew that his Master was meditating on the next move and that whatever his plan was, it would prove productive.

Just then his communicator went off, signaling the Emporer.

He accepted the call and knelt before the hologram, giving his respect until he told to stand.

“Rise, my apprentice.”Vader stands. “I have a mission for you, one that may give us insight into the nightmare lands. You are to go to the planet Voss, and with a group of soldiers enter into the nightmare land and extract the powerful individual that resides there.”

“Yes, master. Is there any other information I may need while on the planet?” A sick smile encroaches Darth Sidious' face.

“The Nightmare Lands are known for their ...mind tricks. So, be wary of what you encounter.” Darth Vader nods, and the holocall ends.

Darth Vader strides out of his room and to the bridge, where machines are beeping, whirring and vibration, people are talking, barking orders and giving commands, and others are typing.

The metal is cold to touch, and yet they provide no heaters or source of war, the on the bridge, the metal was gray, blending in with everything else on the ship, and in front of them was space, infinite space, and to their left, the planet Coruscant.

A quiet place was about to be interrupted by a dark and intimidating figure, the on only who person who did not fear this figure, was the admiral, and he had every right to do so, for he worked right alongside him.

“Admiral Bentax, plot a course of Voss!” Darth Vader bellows across the entire bridge.

“Yes, Lord Vader.” He shoots back and starts barking orders to his subordinates, and they do what they are told.

“Make sure we get there with haste; we do not want to upset the Emperor.”

\----------------------------------------------------------*-------------------------------------------------------

Amaranthine woke up with a severe pounding in her head, and as the dull light of the night forced her way into her eyes, she could feel the pounding in her head get worse.

That was not to say that she had a headache, but rather as she would come to find out later a full body ache that would radiate and beat down to her feet.

She pushed herself off the cold damp ground and tried to find some orientation in the blackness that she was surrounded in.

She knew not her left from right, or up from down, just the state that she was being. A state where she knew she was alive.

Or was she?

The nightmare lands were known to play tricks, and she could have di8ed, and she would have never known, no one would have never known, because here in these nightmarish lands, time passes differently. It always has.

She was surrounded in darkness, like a fish surrounded in water, except she was lost, and had no sense of direction.

There was nothing, just damp ground, and blackness, so she stood, and the pounding in her head was spread from her head to her body, and nausea swept over her.

She could feel it, the ground that was slowly being swept under her and her falling to the ground.

She never did.

Instead, a pair of strong arms caught her before her head hit the ground and she was knocked unconcusos.

“Easy.” The voice is soft and soothing, and it belongs to a male, and she is rocked by the footsteps of the man carrying here, lulling her into a false sense of easiness. “Don't want you dying now do we?”

She should have been afraid, and she should have been on guard and not trusted the stranger. Her sense betrayed her, they begged her for this comfort, because she knew not how long she had been out, nor did she know where she was.

After all wasn't it better to trust a stranger who knew more?

He carried her for miles, not once stopping to take a break. He must have been built, for no one can carry a person without trouble for that long. Right?

She was fading, continuously getting worse by the second, shivers were running down her body, her damp clothes were of no help.

She could only get worse if he didn't help her soon enough.

Suddenly she was set down next to something warm, and had she opened her eyes she would have seen a brilliant fire blazing in the night, lighting up the cave they were in.

Something was thrown across her body, and another and another until she couldn't move.

Her body went into overdrive and shut itself down, and soon she passed out, entering the world of the big black void.

And the darkness was all she saw.

 


	4. Chapter Three: A Trick of the Mind

Darkness.   
That was the only thing she saw as she came to consciousness.  
Slowly colors filled her mind, reds, blues, greens, oranges, purples, all swirling and mixing creating a rainbow of colors.  
Images.   
People.  
Basil....  
Basil, was she okay? How long has she been out of it? Days, weeks?  
Months?  
Basil turned her head over her shoulder to look at Amara. She smiled that sweet, innocent, breathtaking smile of hers and giggles.  
It sounded of child's joy and a pixie laugh. Soft and musical.  
Amaranthine stood up from laying on the ground and approached her.  
"Basil, you came with me?" She asks, and all basil does is a laugh and turns her full body towards Amaranthine. "Won't you say something?" Basil sighs.  
"I never went with you; you came back." Amara runs to her and hugs her, embracing her.  
She was the same old Basil, the laugh, the face, even the smell. Everything.  
"You mean, I made it out? I'm safe?" She nods and then looks down to her feet. "Bas, what's wrong?" Amaranthine grabs her hands.  
"I know you don't feel the way I feel, you never have, but may I do something?"  
"I don't understand..."  
"No," She interrupts. "I don't expect you to, but I just need your permission, may I have it?" Amaranthine nods.  
Basil moves to her tiptoes and slowly but inevitably presses her lips against Amaranthine.  
She doesn't pull away. Instead, she leans into it and deepens the kiss.  
And it's [assionate, full of love and care, but then it happens.  
There's a sharp pain in her stomach, and suddenly she can't breathe.  
Amaranthine pulls away from Basil and grabs her stomach. A warm liquid is on her hand.  
Blood.  
"You..." AMaranthine can't form her next word, her vision is blurry, and she collapses to the ground, keeling over, holding her wound.  
"You see, Mara, I never really loved you, there was a time, yes. But not anymore, not after you abandoned me, and left me by myself." She kicks Amaranthine over onto her side, her back facing basil.  
She feels cold like all the heat has left the room and she's not sure if it's fear or the lack of heat, but she shivers.  
"You know what happened after you left?!?" She grabs a handful of Amaranthine's bright red hair and pulls her face to look at her."Well, you wouldn't, cause you, ya know left!" She holds the dagger to her throat. "I was rapped, by a group of masked people, who then left me out in the cold, where animals and reptiles and bugs, came and chewed on me," She presses it into her skin, causing her to bleed. "I was alive; I was eaten alive! All because of you!" The pressure only gets worse. Her vision blackens, and she's on the verge of passing out again.  
"I-" She tries to wheeze the word out, to get even a fraction of the word out, maybe then, she would understand. "Sor-" And then nothing.  
Suddenly her eyes flicked open, and she gasped for her, vomiting what little was in her stomach.  
"Easy." The man says and lays a gentle hand on her back. "It was just a trick of the mind."   
Amaranthine's hand flies to the side of her stomach where basil stabbed her.  
It's dry, no blood.  
"But I was stabbed!" She panics. "It was real, I died!" The man beside her sighs.  
"You must settle down, or you will go into shock. Ground yourself, make yourself aware of your surroundings."  
"How?" Her voice is high pitched, and whoever this man was, he could tell she was on the verge of shock.  
"Your senses, what do you see?" She takes the attention off of the ground in front of her and looks up.  
"It's black," Her voice quivers and shakes, but then it settles down and steadies. "or maybe really dark brown, and a small fire is going, logs are burning, and something sits in the fire, food perhaps?"  
"Good, what do you feel, and what can you smell?" vShe takes a deep a breath in through her nose and lets the smells hit her.  
"It's musky mostly, but I can smell the smoke of the fire, and the food cooking, I can feel the barely damp ground beneath my hands, the wet spots on my knees.  
"I feel the warmth of your hand, and..." She pauses. She can tell there's something else there, something isn't necessarily wrong, but it's not right either. "And it's like there's something out there, I-I can't tell what it is." The man rocks back onto his butt and sits on the dirt as he covers his face with his hands. She looks to him, questions in her eyes. "Have I said something I shouldn't have?" The man shakes his head.  
"No," His voice is deep, and his hair is dark, just like the walls of the cave. "You have done something I have not been able to do in my time here." He sighs, and his eyes slowly meet her, examining her features. Her oval face, her glowing eyes, and the fact that her face was so soft and gentle, even amongst the frenzy she was in at the moment. "You felt the force, my young friend."  
"The force?" His attitude changes and he stands, helping her up off the ground.  
"Another conversation for another time, in the meantime, we shall eat and drink, and let you recover." She tries to take a step and only falls right into him, lucky for the both of them he's prepared. He slings an arm of hers over her shoulder and helps walk her over to the fire where he then sets her down.  
"So, how long have you been here?" He doesn't answer immediately.  
He was assigned to come here, to scope out the lands and come to some agreement through negotiations. He did just what was asked of him, but the call of these lands lured him here, tempted him, calling to his want for power.  
He never returned to report his findings.  
How long ago was that now?   
Months, possibly years even. There was no telling.  
There was no way out of this place, this cave, so there was no day, and there was no night. Just the cave and its eternal realm of blackness.  
"It could be days, or it could years, there is no sense of time here, and the only thing I can be sure of, is my body aging."  
"I'm sorry, that must be hard for you." He pulls a leg of something off the meaty carcass and hands it to her, and she greedily takes, earning a polite laugh from the man.  
"It is of no issue, it allows me to think, and the thoughts I have are quite profound, things I wouldn't have thought of, and neither would my friends." He waves his hand dismissively and sits down on the other side of the fire.  
"I see..." She has nothing more to say than that, words are escaping her, and probably for the best.   
She looks down at the leg of meat in front of her, she knew not what it was, and would probably never know, not that she wanted to know anyway.  
What was she thinking, entering here, without someone to guide her? She was crazy, or stupid, maybe possibly even both.  
This man, charming as he was, had been kind, going out of his way to help her.  
Surely it couldn't be that bad here.  
"You're regretting your choice." He stated. Her head snaps up to look at him.  
"How did you know?" He gives her a small smirk.  
"I can feel your emotions radiating off of you, fighting an inner war, and I too once held that face."  
"I apologize for my tone." He beams at her, a smile reaching his eyes and his teeth white and glowing.  
"No worries, it's nice to hear another voice besides my own, and to see a beautiful." She blushes, but with the shadows from the fire dancing off of the walls, he never saw it. "Anyways, what's a young girl like you doing out here?"  
"I don't know; I just felt this pull, this power. It was tempting, like everything I ever wanted and more, it's been pulling at me, begging me for years to come here, and finally, I did. Just the spur of the moment I decided that it was worth the risk. The only thing I had to lose was my life." She bites down into the meat, and the taste was divine, like nothing she had ever had before, and without realizing it, she had eaten it all.  
"Would you like more? We have plenty." He gestures to the carcass, and she realized that there was, in fact, more than enough food for the both of them, and so she agreed.  
"What of you, you seem wise, why come here?" She asks between mouth fulls.  
"The same reason as you, I felt the temptation of the power." She nodded and continued on her meat.   
He examined her behavior, the way she couldn't get enough of the meat like she had never had enough food in her life, she was probably a scavenger with no place to call home.  
"I never caught your name..." She wanders off on the tangent.  
"I am Ki-Adi Odan Urr, and you my lady, are?"  
"So formal, I like it." She winks at him, and he smiles back. "I am Amaranthine."  
"No last name then?" He pries.  
"No, I was never given one, I never had parents, or at least, none that I knew." His smile fades, and his face turns somber.  
"I must apologize, my curiosity tends to get the better-" She needs her head, and waves him off.  
"Feel no sympathy for me; I have no problems with my past, I am well off." He nods in agreement.  
"Be careful to close open wounds, so as to not bleed on people who did not cause them." The corners of her mouth turn upwards.  
"A profound thought of years?"  
"I think so; I do not know anymore, it has been too long since I've been in civilization." He laughs, and she laughs with him.  
"What of you? Family, wife, daughters?" He shakes his head and begins laying out mats, she gets and tries to help, but he only shoves her away. "Let me help; you've done enough for me already."  
"I have been by myself for a time now; it is nice to help others again."   
"If you insist."

The mats were laid down, and the fire was small, not blazing like before, but still big enough to keep them warm.   
The room was almost entirely dark again, and Amaranthine turned towards the fire, terrified of what was waiting behind her eyes.  
"Don't fret, I will keep the nightmares away, of that you have my word." A sense of easiness washes over her as her eyes begin to shut, and suddenly she drifted off to a deep and dreamless sleep.


End file.
